What a hindrance

To find myself in love again.
I hope its lust confused with joy,
For I can never have this boy.

My youthful heart is too easily won,
I hate how this game is never fun.
For the outcome is always the same,
I'm alone in my feelings, nothing to gain.

Twice this has happened and twice it has hurt,
I climbed up to heaven and landed face first in the dirt.
Rejection is painful, so I dream of embrace.
My senses lose focus when I think of your face.

So I rein in my feelings, and pull back the tears,
Reminding myself that I have many years.
My pride is shattered as I try to regroup,
Blaming the hormones of what we call youth.

My imagination is spinning most terrible lies,
As my memory reminds me of heart aching cries,
I promise to forget you, for today is anew,
But I know that tommorow, I'll awake thinking of you.
What a hindrance, what a pain,